Fortunate

It's no secret I was a non stop worry wart during my pregnancy. It's pretty much a given that I would naturally worry after going through a year of miscarriages. So when I came home one day around 20 weeks and saw this tucked into the bottom of my mirror in the bathroom, my heart smiled. 

This isn't the original and as you can tell it's in sorry shape. It was so tiny and could easily be missed, but Justin had lovingly tucked it there for me. It was meant for me...Don't mind that it came from Panda Express ; )

I never touched it, certain it was my lucky charm. Always glancing it while passing by, or just staring at it while brushing my teeth. Then one day towards the end of my pregnancy, after the cleaners had come by the house, it was gone. The cleaning ladies had unknowingly thrown it out. I was heartbroken and certain this meant bad things for me. So Justin got on the internet and somehow made an exact copy of it, I would have never known it wasn't the original. So I tucked it back where it belonged on my mirror, where it has stayed for the past year. Just this past month however it found it's way into my drawer next to my deodorant. I'm afraid to throw it away, not realizing how one tiny little piece of paper could give me so much hope. 

After my year of miscarriages, this is my reward...

A perfect little man we call Landon. Sometimes I just look in awe at him and cry because I knew after so much heartbreak, this is what God had planned for me. That he had put hope into my heart and that tiny little thread of hope is what kept me on the path to Landon. 

Such a mushy post right? I can't help it...after he was born I have become nothing but a soft pile of love. Who knows why I went through what I went through. But I do know I am a better person and better mom because of it. I know I talk a lot about my miscarriages and the grief and suffering I endured, but I know full well that I stop and appreciate what I have every single second of the day because of them. My heart is full and my life belongs to a little boy now.

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls, the most massive characters are seared with scars." -Kahlil  Gibran

Testing testing

Testing my blogger app...

These are a few of my favorite (baby) things, part 1

I finally compiled my list of my baby must haves. I've had this list in my head but am finally putting it out there for all you lovelies to see! Now I'm fully aware that every baby is different and what one baby likes doesn't mean all the others will follow suit. But these are the ones my baby loves. And if my baby loves it, so do I!

Luv U Zoo Swing

Haha, totally not my baby, but you get the idea! Landon l-o-v-e-s this. If we put him in there when he's fussy, he instantly calms down. It has a mobile and has music and swings both side to side and front to back. Although the lowest setting on the swing part is enough, we haven't had to go up swing part yet!

Chicco Keyfit 30 carseat and stroller


For me, the simpler the better. I did a lot of research on car seats and strollers. You know, the kind of research that by the end of it, all the words are jumbled together in your head and you're even more confused than when you started. That kind. I know I wanted a travel system and am so happy (so far) with this one. It's so easy to go from home, to car, to stroller and back again.
The stroller is also easy to fold and go. It's a tad bit heavy, but it's so easy to open and close that I don't even care about that!

The Fisher Price Discover and Grow Kick and Play

This is our most favorite baby item yet! Landon is playing on it right now as I type this, keeping himself occupied! We had the luv u zoo playmat but he seemed really bored whenever we laid him on it, so I went out and bought this and we haven't looked back! Maybe now that he's actually grabbing at toys he may actually play on the other mat, but I think we'll stick with this one. He loves kicking the piano, staring up at himself in the mirror above him, and grabs and bats at the toys. I actually have a picture of him on it in my previous post. What I also love is that as he grows and sits by himself, the piano can turn up and he can still play on the piano sitting. Plus the toy overhang can come off and lay in front of him for tummy time. This is by far my ultimate recommendation! 

Baby legs!

I love love love babylegs! Yes they are legwarmers, but they make them for boys too : ) Landon is also sporting some babylegs in the playmat picture in the previous post as well. They are super cute and keep his legs toasty warm. It also makes diaper changing super quick as well. Love love love these.

Snuza Halo movement monitor

Landon has yet to sleep in his crib, and since he is still sleeping in our room in his pack n play we don't have a monitor for him. Since I am paranoid about SIDS, I found this nifty little movement monitor that attaches to his diaper. It's smaller than you think, and doesn't seem to bother him. We just put it on him at night and haven't had any big issues with it yet. I know some people who don't like it, and equal number of people who love it. We've had it for about a month and it does come off every now and then since he kicks like a maniac sometimes. And a few times we've had false alarms since it has come off. But I'd rather have a few false alarms than no monitor at all. I know movement monitors are controversial, but it works for us and we love it.

Carter's Playard and Changer

This is what Landon sleeps in right now next to our bed. I didn't want to get just a bassinet since those have weight limits and I'll only get a short use out of it, and I wanted him in our room right off the bat. I also didn't want him in the bed with us, so this seemed like the logical option for us. He sleeps in the bassinet part on top right now, and when he outgrows that, then it become just a regular playard later on. Plus, it has a changing table that stores on the side, but comes up and attaches to the top for changing. Plus, the little organizer on the side to put all our diaper, wipes, extra sheets etc... I love it because it's so functional and I can get many uses out of it. Oh, and it also comes with a little lullaby machine. 

Oh, and I also recommend getting plenty of extra sheets for whatever sleeping option you decide on, plus lots of extra changing pad covers. Those extra bassinet sheets come in handy in the middle of the night when he peed on or spit up on them and we've had to do middle of the night sheet changes. No one wants to do laundry at 2 am!

Nosefrida

Don't be freaked out by the picture. This is a snot sucker, and although the concept seems completely and utterly weird and gross, I assure you, it's fabulous! Being a nurse and using bulb suctions all the time at work, I see how irritated little noses can get from too much suctioning. This little gadget can get boogers out much more quickly than a bulb. The first time I used it I got a lot of big boogers out of Landon's nose in one use! So, how it works is you put an end in LO's nose and suck on the other end to suck out the boogers. Gross sound I know, but it has a filter so there is no way the boogers will come close to your mouth, I promise! You will love it when your baby has a cold, and don't forget to use saline with it!

Ok, that's enough for now, I may do another post later on, I have some more favorites I'd love to share with you all. Plus, I'm trying out a few new toys with Landon so if he loves those, then they may be added to my favorites list! 

iphone dump

Almost a month has gone by since my last post, ahhh! But 2012 has been good to us so far. No, I have not kept up with my declutter plan, haha! I did it for like a week and then fell behind. Which sucks because it was the easiest thing to follow. Hmm, maybe I'll get back into it...eventually. It's so hard to keep up with things now with a baby. In between feeding him, making sure he gets enough stimulation, and cuddling him, there's not much time between, ha! But I do what I can. Oh yeah, and pinterest takes up a lot of my time as well : )

Anyway, I'll taking a note from Kelle's blog and do a phone dump. She does Friday phone dumps, but since I haven't blogged in forever, it will just be a purge! Ok, well it's not a complete phone dump because I've taken waaaay too many pictures this past month and well, I'll only give you the best ones...

Landon turned three months! In a few weeks he'll be 4 months! Just this past month his little personality is showing through and he's shown a lot of different milestones.

He loves this piano mat. Lol, he loves looking up at the mirror above him and stare at himself!

He also loooooves bath time. Just this past week it seems as though he loves splashing his little feet in the water.

And of course he loves his hands. Forget the $11 toy we just bought him, give him his hands any day!

I wish I had his eyelashes...

Over the past couple weeks, he's finally recognized his toys and reaches for them. I've been waiting for him to do this, I got a genius baby on my hands! : )

And I am officially a baby clothes shopaholic. My kid has more clothes than I do now...My justification is that there are a lot more cuter girl stuff than boy, so whenever I find really cute boy things I HAVE to get them!

And a pinterest project. I took all my Christmas photo cards people sent me and put them in a little book and put it away with my Christmas decorations. That way each year I can add to it and look at them over the years.

And since today is Super Bowl, I must go get the house, me and the baby ready for it!

Our New Year

This New Years we didn't go party hard, I didn't work, and we didn't spend it with friends. We lounged around all day in our pajamas, stuffed ourselves with so not good for us food, watched too much T.V., played around on the computer and our phones, and did lots of snuggling.

It was perfect.

I really didn't do any New Year's resolution this year. Every year I always do the generic ones. You know, to lose weight, eat healthier, save more money yada yada yada. I would still like to do these things, but I've learned from myself over the years that I do all that on my own time. Making it a New Years resolution obviously hasn't worked in the past, and it will get done...eventually : )

I am however following a 2012 declutter calender

I've always wanted to do something like this and hope I will be able to follow this easy day to day one. It's not the normal every day chores like doing the dishes or vacuum, it's those little things you've always wanted to do but keep putting off. Like the junk drawer, or the kitchen cabinets and under the bed. Hope I can stick with it!

We rung in the New Year by watching the ball drop, kisses all around, and toasting with some sparking grape juice.

Justin apparently is still in the pregnancy mindset, because he picked up a non-alcoholic drink instead of champagne. Haha, oh well!

And now since the holidays are over I'm faced with the oh so boring job of packing up 2011.

Boo.

But 2011 was so good to us. The best yet. Wishing you all a blessed 2012!

Beauty review

One thing I love about reading blogs is when people recommend beauty products. I am a make-up and beauty product freak. I love trying new tips and make-up, but when I find a skin and hair care product I love, I usually stick with it. Gets kind of expensive, that's why I take advantage of whenever Sephora has sales! If I'm not shopping at Sephora, I usually stick with the Maybelline brand. I just got some new foundation from Maybelline I've been trying out, along with some new brushes. If I love them, I will post about it!

Anyway, I have two products that I want to gush about on here. One I've been using forever, and the other I just started using.

Haha, just realized the one I said I've used forever is from Make up Forever!

Sens'eyes Make Up Forever eye make-up remover-

I love this.  I used to use the make-up remover pads from like Neutrogena, but I'd go through them in no time and it would irritate my skin by rubbing it. With this stuff I just put a dab of it on a cotton ball (more if I used more eye make up that day) and wipe away! It helps to stick it on your eyelid for a few seconds and then wipe. I still obviously have to rub it but I don't have to push hard at all to get it all off. It takes off my eye make up, mascara, and under eye concealer. And it doesn't irritate my skin after I'm done. It's kind of pricey for one bottle but it lasts way longer than the wipes I used to buy. 

Falsies mascara from Maybelline-

Love love love this! I kind of gave up on mascara a long time ago because I have really short eyelashes and nothing I could do would make them stand out, besides fake eyelashes. I tried tons of different mascaras, including the ones with like a glue you put on first and they are supposed to create like tubes that are supposed to elongate your lashes. Does that make sense? Maybe I need to do a video blog (vlog) when I talk about this stuff! Anyway, that stuff worked ok I guess, but it was messy. I was using One by One by Maybelline and it was just alright. Falsies makes me feel like my lashes are thick and beautiful! It doesn't really make them look a whole lot longer, but definitely more volume. ::swoon::! 

Just a few of my favorite things for you. Oh, and I'm working on my favorite baby things for you all, I should be posting about that shortly!

This is why I blog

So today I had all these great plans to get stuff done around the house. I had dishes to do, things to put away, fun things to sew...well Landon had different plans. Well it's not his fault I should start off by saying. He's perfectly content in his swing, he loves it actually. But when I put him in there he was so happy and I felt bad just sticking him in there. And plus maybe I just felt like snuggling all day : ) But if he wasn't in his swing, he didn't want to be anywhere else except in my arms. So we lounged around the afternoon and when daddy came home after work, he snuggled with him and then I got some stuff done.
Anyway, while we were lounging around, I had nothing to do but browse the internet and after I blogged I randomly started reading my old blog posts. And after about ten minutes or so I had tears in my eyes. Sure it was fun to read about all the fun stuff I posted about, but those soul baring posts? Well I wasn't prepared to read those again.
Posts like this one, where I have a love/hate relationship with my body. Or this one, where I write yet another miscarriage post. Re-reading these posts takes me back to that exact day I wrote them. I can remember that emptiness I felt in those darkest hours and I remember how therapeutic it was writing all my feelings down. And how re-living those posts doesn't seem like the funnest thing to do, it is humbling. Posts like those are the reason I thank God for what I have, and the reason I'm not taking all this for granted.
And then I stumbled upon the quotes I posted. Quotes I repeated time and time over last year to help get me through. Quotes speak to me in a way at times, nothing else can. I love how a person's emotions can be summed up in a few short sentences.
Quotes like these:


"You see, when the almighty Father writes a story-it truly is a masterpiece. One that only he can put together. Though the road to get to the end of the story may be filled with pain, heartache, and sorry-the end is simply glorious. One we sometimes never see coming." Adeye


"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." 
-Marilyn Monroe


I remember I loved these quotes so much because they gave me hope, and if you followed my blog at all last year you'll know that hope was at times the ONE thing getting me through. After each heartache of yet another miscarriage, and the times when I questioned God, I clung onto whatever little hope I had left. And while sitting on the couch holding my 2 month old while he snoozed away, I read these quotes and thought "this is the moment I was writing for." I loved all those quotes and kept on hoping, knowing that one day it would get me to this point. Knowing that it would get me to Landon.

And then I thought, this is why I blog. To look back at different times in my life and either remember the little things that made me so happy, or to stop what I'm doing and remember to appreciate what I have.
I started this blog as a hobby in hopes to document our life. Never did I imagine I would pour my soul into it and let others read my most private thoughts. But I'm glad I did. Now it's kind of evolved into a beautiful mix of the two. If you're following me, thanks for being on this journey with me!