26 weeks

I'm officially 26 weeks people! Time flies when you are having fun. Actually, time hasn't flown, I count down each and every day. I wish the next 14 weeks fly by though!

How far along: 26w1d today

Total Weight Gain: Still haven't weighed myself in a while, I'm too scared to see the number. I have a Dr. appointment next week so we will see then.

Stretchmarks: Yes, boo 

Sleep: A bit better this week

Best Moment This Week: Got a few baby related items in the mail yesterday, that was fun!

Movement: Yep, the past few days have been lazy days for him, but still feel some movement every day.

Gender: Boy!

Belly Button: Still in.

What I Miss: Nothing right now!

 What I am Looking Forward to: My u/s next Monday.

Milestones: 26 weeks!

Belly picture: This isn't a great picture, but the only one I have at 26 weeks.

Also I received some baby related items in the mail yesterday. It terrifies me to have baby stuff in the house, I just don't want to jinx anything. We've gotten a few presents here and there and I almost hyperventilate and make J put them away. As each week passes, my anxiety about it is getting better and better.
I ordered a Kate Spade diaper bag because I fell in love with it, and when I want something, I obsess about it until I get it. So I sucked it up and bought one. And I'm glad I did. It came yesterday and it's even better in person!

Sorry for the crappy picture, it was taken with my iphone. And speaking of cameras, I've resorted to iphone pictures for now. I have a nice new Canon and haven't used it in months. We got a new computer and I haven't installed lightroom on it yet, and refuse to upload pictures from my camera until that is done!

Anyway, I also got some maternity shirts from Forever21 and they also came in the mail. Love them! They are so cute and comfy. I couldn't find any shirts I really liked in the local stores, so had to resort to the internet.

I also participated in a gift exchange with some fellow October moms to be. My present came in and I love each and every item, especially the WSU bib and burp cloth. Naturally I made J put them away after I took a picture of them. : )

I also got some terrible news about a friend yesterday. Actually my friend's son. I was opening up my packages when I got the call that her 20 year old son had just drowned. I am still on shock about it and feel so helpless. She is one of the most caring women I've met and I cannot even begin to imagine what she is going through right now. After I hung up the phone, I just stared blankly at my packages in front of me. I was opening up presents, preparing for the arrival of my son in October while another woman loses hers. I obviously forgot about the packages until much later that day, but it's just so sad. There are no words.

25 weeks

Finally decided to do the weekly survey! Although I am a little late since I will be 26 weeks tomorrow, but oh well. Better late than never right?

How far along: As of today 25w6d

Total Weight Gain: Umm, probably quite a bit? I don't weigh myself at home and don't remember from my last Dr. appt. I'll remember to keep track next time. I'm scared to know!

Stretchmarks: Yes, boo 

Sleep: Not so good. It's getting to be a routine where I can't get comfortable, and I can guess it's only going to get worse.

Best Moment This Week: Been able to see my belly move with kicks and movement for a few weeks now on and off. Still love it!

Movement: Yep, although it's not really consistent yet, and some days is more movement than other days.

Gender: Boy!

Belly Button: Still in.

What I Miss: Being able to sleep on my stomach, but it's not a big deal. Small sacrifice for the big reward : )

 What I am Looking Forward to: October! Can I just sleep till then?!

Milestones: 25 weeks! Reached viability last week and that was a huge milestone.

Belly picture: 

Part 2 of the big post

...After I got back from Hawaii I felt pretty good but the spotting started back up again. (Guess Hawaii is the cure all : ) ) I had an u/s every two weeks until 20 weeks to make sure the SCH was resolving. The spotting lasted off and on for two weeks and was completely gone by about 17 weeks. The ultrasounds showed it getting smaller and smaller and by 18 weeks, Dr. considered it resolved. At my 20 week u/s, there was so sign of it.

The rollercoaster of emotions I had during that time were hard. It's hard to think things will be ok when you are cramping and spotting. Especially since all my past miscarriages started that way. If I was a hermit before that, I was even more of one during that time. I got used to the spotting, but I still didn't want to go out and do fun, normal, everyday things. Looking back I wish I had, I think it would have been a good distraction. But I don't know how much of my heart would have been into it.

At our big 20 week u/s, we got to find out what we were having and they did a thorough anatomy check. They were able to see everything except the heart because of the way the baby was positioned. So I have to go back in three weeks to re-check it. Apparently that happens a lot though. The baby was in such a ball the tech had a very hard time getting a shot of the goods. She had me get up, than changed my positions, then jiggled my belly. Finally she was able to make an educated guess. Then towards the end, she got a good shot and was able to tell us for certain that it's a...




BOY!


(I won't show a picture of the goods)

Meet our little man. He weighed a whopping 15 oz. at 20 weeks and measured 21 weeks. We have a name picked out but that'll be another post later on.

I've been feeling pretty good, besides the normal wonderful pregnancy symptoms, but I'll take those any day. I'm starting to show, but some days I just look fatter in the belly area than anything.

Before I got pregnant, I had this vision of myself doing weekly updates on my blog with a belly shot. Well, since I took a break from blogging, I wasn't able to do any of that. Maybe I will start doing weekly updates, but for now I have one belly shot at 24w4d.

So there you have it. My story so far. I'm hoping the rest of the story will be uncomplicated and lead me to a healthy baby boy come October 31st.

                 For you are fearfully and wonderfully made...Psalm 139

The big post...part 1

Where do I even begin? For the past 5 months or so I've been a hermit. Hiding out in my house in fear. Washed over by worry, fear, nerves, and joy. And why is that? Because I'm pregnant.

 24 weeks pregnant in fact.

At the beginning I wrote and saved posts so I could publish them later on. But now I'm thinking I'll keep those for myself and start the story over fresh. It's a long, scary and amazing journey to share. And one that is not far from God. Because believe me, I wouldn't have gotten through many moments without Him. So here it is, the story (so far) of our little one.

February 18th. Positive pregnancy test. I think I took a picture of the pee stick on my phone, but can't download the picture right now so you'll just have to imagine it. I don't have many pictures from the past few months. Why? Because that meant I would have to deal with them if something bad were to happen. It's the life of pregnant after loss I guess.
Anyway, my labs came back beautifully each time and I felt pregnant. I continued to see the RE in Seattle just because I was comfortable doing so. I was seeing the specialist in Seattle so he could do some work-ups as to why I was having recurrent losses. This little one happened naturally, but he was still happy to continue caring for me. So I saw him up until 10 weeks and had 3 ultrasounds which showed a growing baby with a beating heart.

Uultrasound at approximately 8 weeks.

Ultrasound below at 10 weeks.

At around 10 weeks, I was then released from the RE and was in the care of my Ob, who may I say was awesome. He understood my anxiety and catered (still does) to me very nicely. He saw me every 2 weeks instead of the usual longer increments he normally sees his patients. Because you see I was a wreck. After my previous pregnancies of seeing a heartbeat and then miscarrying, I no longer cared about statistics. Because I was in that unlucky percent where things went wrong. I went to work and home. I didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone really. My anxiety was that high at times. Not all the times, but I was more comfortable at home, so that is where I stayed. Although the pregnancy had been perfect so far, I was living in the fear of the unknown. Because I knew something could happen at any moment that could change all of that.

And it did.

I was set to go to Hawaii for a work conference at the end of April. I would be around 13 weeks at the time. I was going to leave Monday and be gone about a week. The weekend before I was supposed to go, Friday afternoon to be exact, I started bleeding. I was sitting on the couch and felt a huge gush. I ran to the bathroom and sure enough, blood. Thank goodness Justin was actually home for lunch at that time, so we went to the ER. In about an hour I had gone through a pad every 30 minutes. Driving there and waiting to be seen I was actually calm. Right before the nurse came in to check the heartbeat, I started to lose it. She found a strong heartbeat and the Dr. did a pelvic exam and said I looked fine. He guessed it was a subchorionic hemorrhage. Since I had an NT scan scheduled that coming Monday, he didn't do an u/s and sent me home on pelvic rest. The rest of that night I continued to bleed on and off and the next few days it slowed down to spotting. I had actually ordered a home fetal doppler the week before and used it over the weekend to check the heartbeat. That saved my sanity!
Monday came. The day I was supposed to leave for Hawaii. I told the co-workers I was traveling with what happened so they were aware I probably wasn't going. I saw a specialist for my NT scan and also my Ob that same day. The ultrasound showed that I indeed had a SCH. Although, it wasn't bad. It was on the opposite side of the placenta so that was good news. The baby still measured ahead and checked out great. SCH's can be common pregnancy and many get them without knowing it and it goes away on it's own. Some times though it can lead to miscarriage if it's big enough and in a bad spot. Both the specialist and my ob said they were fine with me going to Hawaii and traveling won't make anything worse. My ob even encouraged me going. Of course I had some limitations while there, but I was fine with that. They also said the SCH could absorb on it's own or I could "bleed it out." Deciding whether or not to go to Hawaii was such a difficult decision. I knew if I went and something happened I could never forgive myself. If I had still been bleeding I wouldn't have gone, but I was just barely spotting. I decided to go for a few reasons. A distraction. I knew if I didn't go, I would just sit at home worrying my head off. Second, in my previous pregnancies, I literally just sat on the couch the entire time and still miscarried. And third, my gut feeling told me it would be OK. So I went. And had an awesome time. I actually never felt better. My spotting stopped while I was there and my aches and cramps went away too. Of course I took my doppler with me for peace of mind.

Will continue with part 2 later on...

In a funk

Ugh, what a blogging funk I've been in. I check on other people's blog, but have not really blogged in months. I don't know what's wrong with me! I have plenty to write about, but now that I've let so much time pass, I just keep putting it off. Add to that, I haven't been taking pictures. At all. I'm hoping to get out of this funk soon. I also changed my background on my blog because I was tired of the old one. Granted this one is plain white, I like it. Crisp and clean. I'm hoping to get a new header soon too.
Lots to write about. Lots of time to do it. Absolutely zero energy to do it. But I have high hopes for me! Once I figure out how to upload on my new computer, I think the inspiration will come.
New hair,
new foster dog,
new hobbies,
lots of new to catch up on!
And I promise it will come!